(the misadventures of an expatriate corporate dropout)

Thursday, August 14, 2008

dedicated to all of you bleeding heart bug lovers.

Okay, so I decided to snap a few pics for you all to enjoy and then tear at your hair and beat your chests in lament at my black hearted nature.

First we have a picture of the now deceased flying beetle. (I did NOT kill it, it was discovered dead on the floor). Pay special note to its claws. It is laying on a piece of tile ... maybe the next time one of these babies flies on over and alights on your ... hmm, I dunno ... SHOULDER, you can tame it and take it home. I think I saw that on America's Next Top Model, they wore cute little bejeweled collars and shit.

Next, a snap of one the many "webs" that theatrically draped the inside of my house. This one was about a foot in diameter. Notice the artful placement and thickness of the weave ... perfect for ensnaring lots of other little bugs ... or small dogs and children.

So, while investigating spider species while humming "Born Free" might be an option for some, I'm following J-Y's advice and creating a hostile environment. By that, he meant removing all cobwebs and cleaning with bleach and stuff. That way the eight legged inhabitants get the drift and spare themselves the work of respinning their homes in MY home and take off for parts elsewhere.

What can I say? I'm a little more French every day and enjoying my ride at the top of the food chain. The can of DIE AND DIE QUICKLY remains reserved for emergencies when one of these suckers has me cornered. I have no desire to deal with the spider battle aftermath unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.

But I WILL continue my campaign to get them to pull up stakes and take their spider tents with them.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just hope DIE BUG DIE isn't also cross-marketed as DIE EXPAT WOMAN DIE. Sounds like you took a shower in it the other day!

Randal Graves said...

I usually hum Slayer. And back here in the ruggedly individualistic states, those bugs are called pets. We use 'em to ward off Frenchie expats. ;-)

You're going to do something terrible to me, I just know it.

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

becky-can't say the thought didn't cross my mind ...

rg-i bet when you were a young rock concert attendee you bit the heads off your little pets...

La Belette Rouge said...

Avez-vous un Orkin man?? Bugs need to be killed!!!

Mignonne said...

LBR-my sista!

Randal Graves said...

I still do. Yum!

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

rg-did I call it or what?

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...
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